I was doing a spot of grocery shopping yesterday and whilst waiting at the checkout, my eyes were drawn to the colourful magazines screaming headlines about people of whom I know nothing (apologies to Mr Chamberlain). Apparently, some girl I’ve never heard of has “a new bikini body” and one of the Kardashians has given her boyfriend the boot. Who gives a fuck? And who spends their money on these crappy rags?

Further evidence:

(1) UN ambassador (!) Victoria Cunting Beckham is going to save babies from AIDS. She’s now a doctor is she? Or Jesus?

(2) Angelina Jolie – the world’s most beautiful woman (only to a sex-starved Albanian shepherd who’s allergic to wool) – is given a knighthood. For what exactly? Making a couple of speeches saying “rape is bad”? Thanks for that, I never knew!

(3) Thousands of women paying – paying, for fuck’s sake – to have their asses increased in size to look like some reality TV bint.

Words fail me. I’ll have to go and lie down in my special room with the rubber wallpaper. Perhaps Sir Limply will lend me some of his medication?

Nominated by : Cunt’s Mate Cunt