Alex Salmond [6]

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Alex Salmond has fallen. It is customary for the political classes to come together to heap paens of praise upon their fellows whom they despise the most when they have come a cropper. Such a moment has again come in British political life. It is now Salmond’s turn to drink from that insincere and poisoned chalice as our leaders deliver their eulogeous obituaries. As a student orf history and as one who has lived through many such events in a blessedly long and cuntakerous life, may I add a few thoughts in honour orf the man.

Salmond, you fuck faced bulging eyed tosser, you have made it your living to dredge up every last racist prejudice from the sullen constituency orf resentful retards that you represent. Over the years you have pandered to their failure and like some jocko Hitler, have nurtured their festering inadequacy into a howling mob and unleashed it upon the English. You promised them a tartan paradise and like so many shite arsed jocko warlords before you have led them to ignominious defeat. Welcome to your Culloden you cunt.

On occasion you have a certain celtic fluidity with the English language and in the ears of your followers, the facility to turn shite into gold. Only problem is old sport that under the penetrating eye orf the television camera the ready smile and the generous bonhomie that you effect when it suits you is revealed to be as fake as fuck and merely the well worn artifice orf a professional politician. In faith, you come acrorss as a smug cunt. Like any true Scotsman you are the first to take English gold and all the trappings that come with your grace and favour lifestyle.

Worth noting that the cunt has been on the left wing trot and awkward squad wing orf the SNP and a long time devotee orf the socialist/republican cadre within it, hence Her Majesty’s dismay at any hint orf referendum success. Much has been made orf the cunt’s childless marriage to a woman 17 years his senior and I make no comments over claims orf impotence but I merely observe that that wobbly gut on the cunt coupled with a small cock makes for a simple natural method orf birth control.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

11 thoughts on “Alex Salmond [6]

  1. Culloden is a good analogy, just like that other surrender monkey Bonnie Prince Charlie, he left with rather indecent haste after his spanking, thoroughly bad form and the act of a complete cad. A politician with any mettle would have at least stayed to watch Cameron make good on his odious bribery promises.

    I can only hope the fat bastard was frisked on his way out to check he hadn’t stuffed the silverware down his ample bags

    • Ah yes. The Promises….

      Good job we’ve got Gordon Brown back in the fold to make sure they deliver on those, eh?

      We’re fucked….

      • Ah dear Gordon. Returned to form as the paranoid devious “blame my downfall on the English elite” cunt orf old. Said elite gave the cunt too much slack rein to shore up the wavering Labour No vote. Tossed himself orf in the dark resentful recesses orf his mind and promised them more than Salmond would have dared. Cameron and Co heady with the relief of victory have now counted the cost orf Brown’s promises and are now doing the decent thing – wriggling out orf them. Brown gets shafted again.

        Makes one proud to be English

    • Culloden is a bad analogy as despite saying you are a student of history you revel in the common misconception the this was a Scotland v England battle when in truth it was a British army ( with a large percentage of lowland Scots) v a rag tag alliance of highland scots and jonny foreigners. Still you probably still think Hadians wall marks the border and would unwittingly cede most Northumbria to Scotland with the oft repeated threat to rebuild it.This makes you a stupid cunt on two counts.

      • I proposed that Salmond fucked off from the battlefield in the same manner as did Charles Edward Stuart in his time.
        I made no reference to ceding Northumbria to Scotland. You choose to assume this based on your own deluded opinion.
        As you are evidently incapable of understanding a simple statement, might I respectfully suggest that you fuck off and troll elsewhere you pompous cunt?

        • And you sir are incapable of understanding Salmonds resignation. He is still very much involved in Politics and hasnt fucked off anywhere.

  2. It was nice to see Salmond bow out with dignity and grace “NOT !!!” The egotistical, fat, bong eyed cunt.

  3. I’ve spent the week wild camping in the highlands, so I’m officially claiming the title of ‘Last Man in the UK To Hear The Result of the Referendum’. I have to admit, I was hugely surprised to find that Salmond had resigned. Someone has had words with him, Salmond’s ego is such that he would never jump ship like this in a month of Sundays.

  4. Give them 20 years or so and they will have statues of him in every major city as the great liberator of the Scots. If nothing else, the Scots like to cling on to a Nationalist identity more than even the Welsh. Salmond will go down in history as the C21st version of William Wallace as the true history of events becomes muddled over time

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