God botherers


All God-Botherers are cunts.

Allow me to paint a picture of a typical God-Botherer, fellow cunters:

“I’m a sad, social inadequate who has never got over discovering that Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy don’t exist. Rather than taking responsibility for my own actions in an immoral universe, or at least trying to create some meaning in my life, I need a fully worked out belief system given to me in easy to digest mental yoghurt servings. Fortunately, I have discovered that there is a magical sky daddy (WHO JUST LOVES ME SOOOOOO MUCH) who will take all that pesky thinking out of my life. I just have to give money to the daddy pushers (sorry, priests) and follow the rules he allegedly gave out in various books of fairy stories dating back to the Bronze Age. And the best things about the sky daddy? He hates all those nasty, confusing things I hate – books, ideas, the followers of other sky daddies who just don’t exist. How do I know other sky daddies don’t exist? Mine told me so.”

It gets on my fucking tits the “respect” we are supposed to give to religious fucktards. The malign influence has even spread into politics in the UK; after years of sneering at the mad antics across the Atlantic, UK politicians are now keen to show themselves as “people of faith.” FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT. If anything, religion should exclude anyone from holding a position that involves more responsibility than a lollipop lady.

Religion has always been about money and about telling other people what to do. It has got fuck all to do with God. Leave God out of religion! He’s up there in heaven, quietly not existing. He’d be horrified if he knew what was done in his name, but I suppose non-existence is even more blissful than the ignorance of most of his followers.

Judaism is typical Bronze Age garbage that a semi-literate and barely-civilised tribe uses to justify its violence towards outsiders. Basically, the Old Testament says “our god is a double-hard bastard who can kick your god in the nuts so fucking give us your birds and your dough.” And when things aren’t going so well? We need to be even more cuntish in our crazy devotion to our tribal deity. If there had been airplanes in the first century, you can imagine some crazy Jewish cunt piloting one right up the Roman Emperor’s forum (yes, this is an ass joke).

Eventually, some Jews got fed up being bosses of some desert shithole in the middle of nowhere and wanted to expand their horizons. So they picked up a commonplace idea from the civilised Greeks around them – the idea of the resurrected godman. So successful was this fusion of Jewish self-belief with Greek storytelling that, allied with ludicrous amounts of childish wishful thinking, Christianity became the top form of godbothering, ever.

But, for sheer craziness and fanatical devotion to insane ideas, the followers of the mindless cult of Islam take the biscuit. Millions of pages have been written on the nature of morality but Muslims believe that an illiterate, epileptic paedophile whose main contribution to theological thought was “Allah says I can fuck who I like, even if she’s my daughter in law or nine years old” is the perfect man and the last prophet. Twats.

Allahu Akbah, you cunts.

Nominated by: Cunt’s Mate Cunt

5 thoughts on “God botherers

  1. For some reason I seem to be like fly paper to these freaks.

    Cristadelphians are inbred weidos, the blokes all have a monobrow and look like Bert out of Sesame street and the women have eyes so far apart they are pretty much on the side of their heads.
    They are not allowed to marry outside of the sect. Which explains the above.

    They are way up there on my list of hypocritical cunts I would like to punch in the throat.

    Born again Cristians are the most evil, spiteful, two faced cunts on the planet.
    Whatever you did to make you run and hide behind an imaginary sky pixie is NEVER going to be forgiven and two hours of hypocrisy in sub zero temperatures on a Sunday morning is NEVER going to get you into heaven! You shit sucking cunts!

    Jahovas witnesses are sly thieving cunts who did my old man out of £250k of inheritance by selling everything his dad left him and ‘donating’ it to the church so that it couldn’t be traced.
    To this day I still run the cunts off my property with a couple of Rottweilers when they come knocking in the middle of a fucking good film with their false smiles and shiney eyes looking to ‘talk about god’.
    Fucking cunts!!

    Scientologists managed to get their venom soaked claws into one of the in-laws and turned her into a sneaky, two faced liar who would do anything to get the rest of us to part with cash for the ‘church’ to ‘enlighten’ us.

    We are enlightened. We think you’re a bunch of brain washing lunatic cunts!

    Muslims need to drag themselves into the 21st century or fuck off out of my country.

    Eat a sausage, drink a beer and chill the fuck out, you dark ages loving, women hating, child molesting cunts!!!

    Me, I’m a pagan and my god rides across the heavens in a chariot pulled by goats making thunder and lightning, when he isn’t riding a six legged horse. (yes it really makes that much sense and it really pisses the bloke nailed to a lump of wood bunch right off)
    Furthermore he is harder than all the other ‘established’ gods put together and can ram a thunderbolt up their collective cunts at will.

    Stupid gullible cunts one and all.

  2. I’d like to cunt the Blackcountry…

    Imagine a land of pigeon-fanciers, flat-caps, faggots (the pork variety) and mushy peas, long-closed coal mines and vanished heavy industry, where the locals speak in a strange dialect and with a peculiar accent. Imagine a place where the pubs still serve dark mild with their ready salted peanuts, and the locals have a sturdy, misplaced pride in the place of their birth.

    But this isn’t Yorkshire or Tyneside, but the Blackcountry, a place where people don’t go to die, merely to disappear for good, where the streets are full of holes (and not just in the red light districts) and the weather is always shit. A place where no one really knows where it begins and where it ends (the “borders” of the Blackcountry are notoriously hard to define) and the only thing people around here do know is that we ay from Brum, and we hate brum, and we hate Brummies.

    Imagine a place where the majority of folk are Labour voters but the main local evening newspaper is a Tory mouthpiece edited somewhere deep in the bowels of Tory central office. A place where the people are more defiantly English than anywhere else in England, but who the rest of England loves to take the piss out of. A land full of cloth cap cunt, to be blunt.

    A place that ay Birmingham, but isn’t much else either.

    Imagine a place called the Blackcountry, and pretend it doesn’t really exist.

  3. Now I’ve had a while to calm down and some sleeping tablets, I’d like to nominate a new breed of cunt that’s come to my attention.
    It’s called Lilly Allen.
    This cunt has no redeeming features, a singing voice like a pissed Dutch fisherman, and very probably, a fanny like a clowns pocket.
    I had the mis fortune to watch her at the smug/shit/crustie fest that is ‘Glasto’ this year and I really should be suing those cunts at the BBC/calling the noise Police for outright GBH to my earholes such is the toxicity levels of her tuneless yapping.
    She obviously thinks she’s good in her own mind.
    I have a differing view in that I’d rather hear a pile of freshly squeezed dogshit sing than listen to her.

    • Yes, she really is hopeless isn’t she? She’s already in the cunt queue, but I have added your viewpoint to the pending post.

      Next time make up a name, you lazy cunt!

  4. BBC made damn sure that everything on tv nowadays must be complete shit to be accepted as entertainment , its sadly been like that for to long , they don’t show interesting musicians anymore now its rich daddys little jew princess daughter or little cunts like morrisessy who believe they are god on earth, all these cunt celebrities are humanitarians living in castles and fucking their kids all the while becoming ambassadors of the UN fucking pathetic cunts , this world is run by such pathetic cunts things could be heaven if we didn’t have monkeys working in office

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