Karl Lagerfeld

Karl-Lagerfeld

From our fashion correspondent: Noted that the poncing piss pussy and Creative Director for Chanel, Karl Lagerfeld, has achieved the rag trade tour de force of his inimitable career. He has designed THE outfit for the total cunt and is currently pictured modelling the self same creation in Paris for fashionistas everywhere. You lucky people.

Word on the street has it that the BIG PEOPLE at Channel were in an absolute tizz absolutely over who could or should model the epic smutter. Names in the frame included Elton John (but his bum would have looked too big), Simon Cowell (less arse but no class) and Prince Edward (but this is an exclusive show my dears and who hasn’t had that bit of Royal bum?).

Call me a rancid old queen if you must be ever so wearisome but I have to go with the darling people at Channel on this one (you know where to send my free goody bags kissy kissy). Total Cunt is a collection that is divine in its inspiration and can only be presented to the public by the ultimate godhead of the genre. My dears I give you the very personification of Cunt Total, camp kraut Mr Karl Lagerfeld.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

10 thoughts on “Karl Lagerfeld

  1. I’m convinced the real Karl Lagerfeld died years ago and was replaced by an android. No human could have such a ridiculous dress sense, or be such a bitchy, emotionless arsehole.

  2. Can I nominate thick as shit northern cunt ‘Bez’? He was allowed about five minutes of airtime on Shaun Keaveny’s radio show yesterday morning (I’m tempted to cunt Keaveny and Everett for allowing it) to spout his sixth form common room drivel about fracking, GM crops and free renewable energy for all.
    Grow up, you stupid cunt.
    And what kind of name is ‘Bez’ anyway? Another word for cunt I reckon.

  3. He is standing for parliament in the next election. I hope he wins, as it will show how ridiculous the voting system is

  4. Lagerfeld is like a cross between Max Headroom and John Inman….

    Bez’s full name is Mark Berry. God knows what he’s up to with all this political crap.

    Shaun will be standing for parliament next…

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