Dead Pool [8]


* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to our illustrious web master, The All Seeing Eye, who correctly guessed the next cunt to kick the cunting bucket … therefore becoming a dead cunt … would be Ariel Sharon. It was a long wait – 8 years in a bloody coma (Sharon not the Eye).

Here’s a picture of the dead cunt waving us a cheery bye-bye and thanks for all the fish. Let’s hope that the funeral gets less coverage than that other dead cunt, Mandela.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 8. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of three cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion guest post on the subject of his/her choice and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

69 thoughts on “Dead Pool [8]

  1. If there is only one nomination then I will go for Mohammed Ali. If we are allowed a slate of three as before then I bags as follows:

    Mohammed Ali
    Richard Attenborough
    Christopher Lee

    • Pissed as usual so now noted we are allowed three (as above) and blimey kosher fat fucker Sharon is everywhere being puffed as a cross between Mandela and Fagin. Will there ever be an end to it allready.

        • Agree, and I said something similar about Murray Walker a few Pools ago.

          He’s ripe for being a winning entry but he’s a top bloke, not a cunt, so I won’t nominate him here.

  2. OK guys – here we go again. Good luck

    Sir Limply Stoke
    Richard Attenborough, Muhammed Ali, Christopher Lee

    All Seeing Eye
    Acker Bilk, Dennis Healy, Benedict XVI

    Ian Brady, Prince Phillip, Robert Mugabe

    And my 3 this time round
    Chapman Pincher, Eli Wallach and Fidel Castro

    This last nomination is in no way connected to my trip to Cuba at the end of the month!

    Let me know if I’ve missed any and if you’ve not had a go yet then get stuck in. The more the merrier!

  3. As an aside, can I nominate the able bodied cunts who park in disabled spaces?
    These selfish cunts make life even more difficult for those, to whom a shorter walk to local amenities is made much harder by their selfishness and thoughtlessness. A suitable punishment would be for offenders to have both legs broken and be made to walk on crutches in mid winter to get a pint of milk.

    • Consider them added! I shall be pissed if Kirkie pops his clogs as I had him last time round but c’est la vie…

  4. Bruce ‘the dirty, letcherous old cunt’ forsythe
    Phil the greek, (queenies hubby, the doddering old cunt)
    ronnie corbet (short, fat brimming with me , me , me, self centred little cunt)

  5. Err, I’m sticking with my original three. Dioclese knows. Unfortunately for thou, I’ve been on the piddle all day and frankly cannot be arsed.

  6. How about the old paedo Rolf Harris to chop himself….

    Tommy Robinson via a member of the religion of peace….

    and how about Price Philip….How old is that cunt now?

  7. I thought is was Ariel “The Bulldozer” Sharon?
    You know the cunt was part of the ” אִרְגּוּ ” (Irgun) right?
    He done killed him some Brit-fucks back in the “British Mandate For Palestine” days. I’m surprised MI5, (MI6?) didn’t orf him with a Predator as he lay comatose o’er these last 8 years.

    • To be correct the ‘Irgins Zvai Leumi’. Saxon senior was there during the conflict. Although he didn’t get his hands on Shaza, he did manage to send some of his adherents orf to an early grave. Good man my father.

  8. Roger Lloyd-Pack alias Trig is dead. Surprise, surprise nobody had him in the dead pool. In fact, I doubt anyone even knew his real name…

    • Why is it Trigger dies yet Gary Barlow lives? Where’s the justice?

      Ok my 3…… Unlikely but a man can dream can’t he?

      1) Gary Barlow
      2) Ian Duncan Smith
      3) Well as Norden, Clive James and George Bush Snr are gone I’m stuck. Rolf knows way too much about very high up people and is a prime candidate for ‘suicide’ but that cunt has been taken too, so….. 3) Paul McCartney….. That nauseating fuck has been a national embarrassment for decades now. Yeah the Beatles done some great stuff but singing ‘Hey Jude’ at the Olympics was the final straw. I’d love to punch the cunt repeatedly in the gob then break his fingers as he does that fucking peace sign for the 10,000th time. Argh!!!

      Well done to The All seeing eye… Sharon may have been at deaths door but 8 years in a coma? Nice timing that. Good riddance to another psychopathic evil politico cunt.

  9. McCartney – seconded. Nothing without Lennon – like so many songwriting duos the one is no good without the other. Also one of the meanest people on the planet. He never does anything unless there’s something in it for him.

    I was delighted when Heather Mills divorced him and took him for a few quid. Top girl, Heather. Well done.

    What really annoys me about him is he thinks he’s brilliant and yet he churns out the most banal, sickly lyrics imaginable. I might not have made as much money as him and I might be unknown, but I’m still a better lyricist. Unfortunately, that isn’t saying much.

    I’d like him to die like Denny Lane. Denny was a real nice bloke. The wrong one died IMHO. There’s no justice.

    Sir Paul FFS. Do me a favour!

    • Just spotted this and would like to endorse what a tight arsed cunt McCartney is. Has a charity but when I tried to touch it for a few quid for a very worthy cause the tone deaf tosser declined and sent me a remaindered book by his late wife Linda. Wierd mean cunt.

  10. Rolf Harris – This cunt will top himself when convicted rather then do time
    William Roach aka Billy loves the cunt Roach – Ditto
    Bruce forsyth – I wish the cunt would die so as just to stay of the cunting box!

    • Afraid Rolf and Brucie have already been grabbed, but I’ve added Bill Roach against your name. You’re welcome to two more under the current ‘rules’

      • Sorry could not be bothered to read the rest of the thread (I am such a cunt) so as for my cuntish alternates:

        Kirk “I’m CUNTACUS ” Douglas

        Freddie Starr (Fat, unfunny, kiddie fiddling cunt)

        • FGor fuck sake, just spotted Kirk has already been snaffled, alright you fuckers I am going to use my ace card here and say.

          Mickey Rooney

          • We get there in the end! Kirky’s not a bad choice – I had him in the last pool but the bugger failed to oblige. Someone told me has has throat cancer but not sure if that’s true.

  11. Bollocks! Pete Seegar finds his way into one of his own ‘little boxes’ and I nominate the bastard in the wrong dead pool. I had him last time round.

    Bugger, bugger, bugger….

  12. Hard luck on that account. Oddly I’m sad to see him go though. Bit of an icon for the British folk scene. Now if Allah, God, Krishna and Gitche Manitou are feeling generous, they will summon Brady for a hot poker up the arse in hell, thereby winning me the dead pool.

  13. Id like to add two Canadian cunts:- Justin Bieber and that Crack Head Mayor. One of them will cave soon enough, I hope my way.

    • Remind me to add further rule :

      “Any cunt who nominates a cunt on his death bed is a cunt and will be ignored”….

      You can have the other two tho’. What’s that cunt mayor’s name anyway? Help me out here!

  14. In case anyone hasn’t yet picked their full quota, I’d just like to point out that Patrick Macnee (aka John Steed) is 92 and in failing health, apparently.

  15. Me pet Vulture Gristle informs me that his Zimbabwean cousins have been ordering in extra bottles of Reggae Reggae Sauce in anticipation of the imminent demise of Black Cunt of the Year Robert Mugabe. Apparantly the old Mugster, whilst celebrating his 90th birthday, is giving every indication of failing health and is soon to be faced with an election to either Heaven or Hell which even he cannot fix.

    Do recall Dioclese had him in the frame a while back but if Mugsy is unclaimed at present
    then definitely worth a punt in me humble.

  16. Now your lordship, I had Mugabe in my list, however, I’ll trade him for what you have to offer..if such is allowed?

    • Just checking if the old bastard is claimed and gently offering him to the wider fraternity as a possible if not. Delighted that you have him dear heart. The Mugster is one of those that has been bespoked by many over the life of isacunt and one loses track rather of his status.

      Thanks awfully for the kind offer of a swapsie and it does grieve one mightily to have to decline but one has a history of bestowing longevity on any cunt that one picks. One would decidedly not wish to bestow old Mugs any further extension on this mortal coil.

      However making a market in cunt trading is a capital idea. The CUNTSIE 100 perhaps? Transactions through a new digital currency, the CUNT COIN? All we require is a corrupt and incompetent Regulator. Now whom do we know fits that bill….?

        • I’d like to nominate Chas Crane.

          What really annoys me about him is he thinks he’s brilliant and yet he churns out the most banal, sickly lyrics imaginable. He might not have made as much money as me and he might be unknown, but I’m still a better lyricist. Unfortunately, that isn’t saying much.

        • There there sweeting, kissy kissy. No implications intended. Had in mind the likes of Paul Flowers (recently cunted by yours truly with your invaluable help) or that crackhead canadian cunt politico whose name escapes me – again recently cunted.

          Interesting however that on the following day I make me comment above, we have reports of big Bitcoin fraud worldwide. Have always been of the opinion that Bitcoin is all smoke and mirrors and should be renamed Bitcon for accuracy. In fact best definition of it I have come across is: Bitcoin is an illusion of a ghost of money and is intrinsically worthless.

          Clearly the day for Cuntcoin has dawned and in which fraud is an avowed and intrinsic part of the market.

          Re-address your cash for gold envelopes to me butler at Stoke Towers and you will be awarded online Cuntcoin. Fear not. I promise you will not be inundated with marketing mail. I guarantee that you will never hear from us again.

          • Sir Limply, as you know I’m part of the nouveau riche fraternity. Made my pile by stealing. Can’t stuff it all under the mattress and invest it in Rhodesian junk bonds. I want to invest in cuntgeld. Seems a viable proposition. Though be warned, if you try to rob me I will be forced to send ‘Lugless Douglas’ over to your gaff to bite your nose orf.

  17. 1. Dick Cheney – one more heart attack should be enough to finish the cunt off.
    2. Pete Doherty – bound to OD some day. Won’t be missed.
    3. Sean Connery – he’s already far surpassed the average life expectancy for a Scot.

  18. As a newbie here I would be so honoured if I can have the following in the dead pool:

    Elton John
    David Furnish

    will I get double kudos if both of the above cunts shuffle off in a remarkable bumming related death

    Chubby Brown – funny cunt but getting on a bit

  19. Jimmy ” Z cars” Ellis too it appears. Although those younger than 50 will not recall the series

  20. Malcolm Glazer (well, every Glazer actually)
    Simon Cowell
    Roman Polanski
    Woody Allen

    Sort of a personal wishlist, really…

    Is that cunt, Ian Paisley still alive?

    • New dead pool started this morning, Norman – so which 3 would you like in the new list?

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