‘Captain’ Paul Watson [2]


Paul Watson, Greenpeace founder, is a cunt who thinks he’s Errol Flynn, fucking about with Jap whaling ships whilst massaging his massive ego by bullying a various assortment of hippies, tramps, junkies and other ne’er do wells who think they are crew members of a disciplined service, instead of the smelly eco-wanker pirates they actually are.

They save the planet by burning hundreds of tonnes of heavy fuel oil driving around in their ridiculously named boats, else bobbing around in a DIY helicopter. The Japs had the right idea with one of these soap dodgers and sank his boat by crashing into it. Unfortunately the cunt managed to get out before it went down.

Watson is such a cunt he was thrown out of Greenpeace. His first wife divorced him for being a cunt and his second wife divorced him for being a total and utter cunt, not just a regular one. He calls himself Captain yet has never held that rank anywhere other than his own mind. His actual rank within the Norwegian Merchant Marine, the only place he could get a real job, was Cunt First Class.

He advocates human depopulation to under 1billion souls yet spitefully refuses to get the ball rolling by shooting himself, the cunt. He advocates veganism, but just not for himself and continues to eat meat regularly. Because he is such a cunt he cannot see the disconnect between whining about people eating whales whilst eating bacon sandwiches.

He is also a fat bastard cunt. With luck one of the Jap whalers will mistake him for a whale and harpoon him in the face.

His 6 year old granddaughter is famously quoted as saying that she thought ’Gramps is fat cunt’ and his mother has publicly apologised for bringing such a cunt into the world.

He is currently wanted by Interpol in connection with assorted acts of vandalism and piracy, and for being a cunt.

Nominated by : Dave the Badger

1 thought on “‘Captain’ Paul Watson [2]

  1. Cap’n cunt would be well advised to jump ship and get into the dolphin industry, ground floor. Word on the street is that the next big thing is ‘dolphin burgers’. Captain Birdseye’s (a proper captain) stock is about to soar. And remember with every tenth burger you get a blow hole. Can’t help thinking it’s overrated myself. Nice enough if you get it young and tender. Must be plenty of stocks as they have been protected for so long.

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